8 Of The Most Common Wedding Day Fears And How To Overcome Them
I understand. Really, I do. You spend a great deal of energy, time and money planning your wedding, so it only makes sense that you want it to run smoothly! Your wedding is supposed to be one of the best days of your life, isn't it? The day when you are married to the person that you love and can take the time to celebrate that union. Unfortunately, many people also recall the feeling leading up to their wedding as an incredibly stressful time filled with various fears.
Of course, it is absolutely ok to have fears, and things that you’re worried about, but this is your wedding day - it can't consume the positive! The purpose of your wedding is love, not worry, and that is the feeling that should pull through. When those worries pile up, it can take away all of the joy.
So, here are some common wedding day worries that we’ve heard along our journey, along with things you can do to overcome them and allow the love to flow through!
1. I’m afraid that my wedding will be sabotaged by bad weather!
Why this fear is common: The fear of bad weather, particularly here in the UK, on your wedding day has be
en around for hundreds of years. Many brides dream about a gorgeous outdoor ceremony surrounded by flowers on rolling hills, and even brides with indoor ceremonies want to ensure that they won’t get soaked leaving the chapel!
It also doesn’t help that the type of bad weather you may get depends on the time of year. A beautiful wedding around the holidays might get bogged down by a blizzard, and a summer ceremony could get washed away by the rain. How can your wedding day go perfect with bad weather overhead?
How to overcome it: Careful planning and preparation can help you ensure that even if there is bad weather, you are able to handle it. For example, an outdoor ceremony should always have a backup plan to move indoors in the case of bad weather. However, even ensuring that you have a carpet or walkway and awnings overhead can at least protect you from the weather when it comes.
You can also choose to embrace it! Many people consider rain on their wedding day to be good luck, cleansing them of their past so they can start fresh as a couple. All a matter of perception. Also, photos in the rain with umbrellas - super cool! You can make it a positive whatever the outcome - embracing the weather will make you a happier bride!
2. I’m afraid that none of my guests will show up.
Why this fear is common: Who wants to get married by themselves? Yes, there are couples who want to elope and get it over with. But if you have spent so much time and money putting together a special wedding and ceremony for everyone close to you, you are counting on your guests to show up and help you celebrate your union with you.
The fear of being left with an underpopulated wedding is common, especially at the last minute when people start to arrive. Missing guests can be more than embarrassing; they can waste money spent on space and catering! Many brides have this secret fear, often hidden in the back of their minds but please, don’t worry, it can certainly be overcome.
How to overcome it: At the end of the day, you cannot control the actions of other people - so why worry? However, you can overcome the fear of absent guests by surrounding yourself with people that you trust. You do not necessarily need a huge wedding where you invite every acquaintance on both sides.
So, if you’d prefer it, a smaller ceremony filled with people that you know personally can be just as rewarding, especially since your close friends and family are much less likely to ever miss your wedding. You can also make an initial RSVP request and then check again closer to the ceremony to make sure you know exactly what is going on. These numbers are generally trustworthy.
3. I’m afraid that I will lose my wedding photos, or the memory of my wedding day.
Why this fear is common: They say that a bride is so busy on her wedding day that it all just flies by! Many people recount their wedding days passing in a quick blur with them barely having time to think. That is why wedding photos, and more recently film, are so essential. They help you remember the magic and romance of your wedding day even years down the line.
For a busy bride, watching video, or perusing photos, helps you slow down and reflect on the happiest day of your life. That is why the fear of losing your wedding photos is so common. Without them, you have nothing left except your own memories.
How to overcome it: The best way to overcome your fear of losing your wedding photos is to make copies of your copies! Many wedding videographers and photographers today will give you the offer of physical copies as well as a digital copy (perhaps on a memory stick) that you can save. My wife and I have a WeTransfer file stored in the cloud, as well as local copies saved to our laptop. Talk to your videographer/photographer and see if this will be possible, just to ensure that you have multiple copies.
4. I’m afraid that my dress will be damaged at the last minute.
Why this fear is common: Do I really need to explain why this fear is so common? For many brides, your dress symbol
izes your wedding itself. You spend time and effort (and quite a bit of money) finding the perfect dress for you. It makes you feel beautiful (my wife quite literally was asked by a little girl, “wow, are you a princess?”) and you cannot wait to have all eyes on you in it! Then, in the scenario replaying in your mind, the unspeakable happens. Your dress gets damaged and there is not much time left before the ceremony. A bride’s worst nightmare!
How to overcome it: The best way to overcome this fear is to take a step back and think about the reason you are getting married. At the end of the day, you are getting married because you love your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with them. The dress and other traditional aspects are luxuries and bonuses on top of getting to marry the love of your life!
However, you still want to get married in a beautiful dress, and rightly so. It is common to keep the dress “on lockdown” before the ceremony to ensure that nobody else can get close to it and potentially damage it. When you put it on, avoid food and drinking anything aside from water to lessen the chance!
5. I’m afraid of messing up my vows in front of everybody.
Why this fear is common: There is a lot of emphasis on giving a beautiful speech full of your vows to your partner during your ceremony. You have written a lovely piece expressing your feelings, and then when you picture the scene, when the time comes to read it…you mess up. Maybe you stumble over your words, or maybe you get anxious and freeze up. It can happen to anyone!
This fear often comes from the need to have a perfect wedding and anxiety about everything going well. Brides also worry about properly expressing their love, and messing up their vows can seem like a bad sign.
How to overcome it: Once again, your wedding is about more than your vows or your dress. If you mess up, you can laugh it off and still enjoy your wedding. Relax, relax. Love is love, allow it flow through. However, a good way to ensure your vows go well is to practice, practice, practice. Whilst you want it to come across natural and unstaged, which it will, practicing really does help. Write your speech and rehearse it so you can see how easy it is to read out loud. In addition, consider giving your vows in front of a small group such as your bridal party to practice in front of an audience so that you do not get stage fright on your wedding day.
6. I’m afraid that I won’t feel beautiful on my wedding day.
Why this fear is common: They often say that all eyes are on the bride during her wedding day. There are so many photos, videos, and sheer attention focused on you. For many brides, a common fear is that they will not like their dress, hair, or makeup. If you don’t feel beautiful on your wedding day, how can you look back fondly? You might be afraid that your wedding photos could be ruined if you don’t even want to look at yourself.
How to overcome it: Overcoming self-esteem or concerns about your appearance is a challenge of life, but the truth is that you don’t have anything to prove to anyone. You are beautiful just as you are, and that is enough.
Also, you’ll be pleased to know that this fear often disappears when your wedding day actually arrives. The thought is very different from the reality. It may seem cheesy, but every single bride is beautiful on her wedding day simply because of how happy she is! You will be able to look back at your film and photos fondly because they document you marrying the love of your life.
Still, it is not a crime to want to feel beautiful. Try out different hair and makeup styles beforehand to see how they will look so that you can choose your favorites. There is no shame, and actually it is a very enjoyable process, in experimenting in order to find the perfect combination of dress, hair, and makeup to make you feel absolutely beautiful.
7. I’m afraid that my guests will not be on their best behaviour and draw attention.
Why this fear is common: Nobody’s family is perfect! This can be especially worrying on your wedding day - the one day where everybody is supposed to be on their best behavior. An argument, a crying child, or guests you can’t trust around an open bar are all big concerns for brides trying to plan their perfect day.
When all eyes are supposed to be on you, the last thing you want is for a misbehaving guest to draw the attention. Many brides suffer from this common fear that their wedding day will be derailed.
How to overcome it: Many brides can overcome this fear by ensuring that they personally know everyone on their guest list. When you know everyone, you are aware of and can prepare for any potential issues. Two guests who absolutely shouldn’t sit at the same table? That is much easier to catch with an intimate guest list.
Some brides opt to have a child-free wedding to minimize conflicts, others embrace children. Either way, stick with one decision and embrace your choice. It is also common to appoint a “fixer” such as a bridesmaid who is prepared to deal with any issues as they occur. Even aside from preparation, sometimes you just have to laugh and admit that family is crazy - but still family.
8. I’m afraid that I will have regrets after my wedding day, like not getting a wedding film done.
Why this fear is common: You do not want to have any regrets after your wedding day; rather, you want to look back and know that you truly had your perfect day. That is why a fear that you are missing something that will lead to regret is so common. For example, many brides look back after their wedding and wish they had a wedding film done in addition to the traditional photos.
While it is common to fear that you will have regrets, there is an easy way to overcome it: build a dream wedding that incorporates everything you want, including a wedding film!
How to overcome it: You can find numerous reputable vendors that can help you craft the perfect wedding. For example, through the wedding films I create under Demicoli Productions, all I wish is for you to be able to look back on the emotion, love and wonder of your wedding day, see subtle aspects of the day that you didn’t realise happened, cherish your film as a reminder for years to come and possibly, just possibly, show your (future) children what it was like when their parents got married.
Overcome Your Fears For Your Perfect Wedding
As you can see, there are so many common wedding day fears. You are definitely not crazy or silly for having all of these fears and more! Instead, accept them, embrace your humanity, and luckily, now you now have the power to overcome these fears. Well done to you for dealing with some of your worries positively, and looking to find a solution.
And then, once you let go of your fears and concerns, underneath it all is the simple opportunity to become married to the person you love and, honestly, there is nothing scary about that.